“When the B horror movie “CHAIN-FACE CLOWN” was released in 1985, no one knew the film would one day become a classic. Heralded as a cinematic “tour de force”, well, at least by a select group of horror movie fans. The star, Jonathan Blakely, is about to meet his biggest fan and he must now find a way to escape or forever be the ultimate addition to her “CHAIN-FACE CLOWN” memorabilia collection.”

We open to a movie being watched by a little girl. The movie, Chain-Face Clown, is a bad 80s film that embraces the time period (VHS quality and scratchy sound). We fast forward to the present day with the cast of the said film having a signing for fans. This includes Jonathan Blakely (Oliver Robins), as the former child star of the movie and Peter Norvis (Eddie Craig), as the Chain-Face Clown. While Peter is enjoying the groupie life, Jonathan is more reserved and awkward until he meets Emily Lynessa (Alissa Schneider).

Emily brings Jonathan out of his shell which leads to a night with her and morning where he learns that she is his number one fan. One thing leads to another he ends up chained to a cinder block and locked in a garage. As the run time continues, we see Emily become more and more unhinged. She brings more people into her delusions including Jonathan’s fiancé, Michelle (Melissa McNerney). As well as David (Jonathan D. Lee) and Alan (Wade Williams).

To cut to the chase, Celebrity Crush is bad. The dialogue is awkward and lines are delivered with the passion and skill of a middle school play. This feels like a pet project that friends decided to do in their free time. The plot, while messy, is predictable and uninspired. Under all that though, there is some genuine clever framing and also moments where the filmmaker embraces the idea of “show, don’t tell” which is nice.

One area that this film truly shines is the music. The soundtrack is phenomenal, I actually had to make sure that someone wasn’t streaming their own music at the same time. A few times during the film I found myself grabbing my phone just so I could add songs to my own playlists. Another area that stood out for the better was the use of practical effects.

It’s clear that Director Oliver Robins loves the genre. And the actors seem to be really enjoying themselves. With that said, the script and plot fall flat. The film will pull obvious comparisons to other kidnapped idol movies, only those films did it better. There is a bright side, good effects and incredible soundtrack combined with the over the top acting create an entertaining experience that’s so bad it’s funny. Heck, there are worse ways to spend 90 minutes.

HARD-CORE
RATING: UR
Official CELEBRITY CRUSH Trailer
Runtime: 91 mins
Directed By: Oliver Robins
   

 

About the Author

Nate Stephenson is a northern California native. His love horror and being scared runs deep. Gaming with his pups is where you'll find him on his downtime.