I’m just going to say it up front because, well, this review might be the first place you read it: DementedFX in Holyoke, MA is easily the best haunt in New England and may well be one of the best haunts in the United States. Aside from a jaw-dropping 30-minute main attraction, it has killer bars, a solid VIP lounge, and an indoor queue area with lots to keep you entertained while you wait. Offering up the most complete experience I have found in this area, the team behind DementedFX pulls out all the stops before you even enter their maze and, once you’re inside, they consistently wallop you with well-rounded, full-bodied scares. DementedFX is perfect and, without a doubt, a must-see destination for haunters near and far.

Setting itself apart from most of the other haunts in New England, DementedFX presents a cohesive storyline in their Bio Med Corp Haunted House. Not wholly unlike other haunted houses about human experiments gone awry (Erebus in Pontiac, MI or even Paranormal Inc. in Knott’s Scary farm immediately come to mind), you traipse through a medical facility at the precise moment that things begin melting down and its subjects escape from the labs. What sets this house apart from the rest, though, is the top-notch acting, audio-animatronics, and unparalleled timing. You will never, ever bump into another group and not a single scare will be foiled by someone ahead of you in line. I frequent haunted houses more than the average bear, making it incredibly difficult to even get so much as small jump scare out of me, so do not take what I’m about to say lightly… DementedFX is the only experience I’ve done where I have been completely terrified even though actors do not make contact with participants.

Now, it’s important to give the audio-animatronics and special effects in Bio Med Corp the very special attention they rightly deserve. The triggers that activate the mechanical aspects of the maze are flawless and the overall aesthetic of their effects is immaculately consistent from start to finish. Not only is this haunt scary, it is an absolute visual marvel. You will get the exact amount of time in each room to ruminate in all the treats and terrors DementedFX has to offer, too.

The creative team behind DementedFX clearly has some of the best talent in the industry, but their front-of-house staff—scare actors, bartenders, and customer service folks—deserve their own fair share of the applause. Hilarious and just the right amount of salty, the bar staff are among the first people with whom you interact at Bio Med Corp. They steered us in the right direction by insisting we get our beers rimmed with cinnamon sugar and, frankly, there’s no turning back for us now. Put down you trash lattes and ciders, haunters, cinnamon sugar rimmed pumpkin ale is, by far, the only seasonal beverage you should be consuming this year. Each and every scare actor carried over the zest and zing of the bartenders, making our evening with DementedFX pretty much the funniest one we’ve had all season. In the maze, for example, there’s one particularly hot holding area. Please ask the very intense gentleman in there how his evening’s going and expect to be brought to tears by his candid response.

Bio Med Corp is running Thursdays through Sundays until October 27 this year. General admission tickets are $25 and VIP tickets are $50. We highly recommend the VIP option, by the way, because you get a drink and front-of-the-line access included with purchase. Expect to be active, so wear comfortable clothing and shoes, leave your bags in the trunk of your car, and make sure to address any mobility concerns anyone in your group might have with customer service before booking your slot. If you haven’t made your way to a DementedFX experience, then now’s the moment you can choose to either ascend to Halloween greatness or continue sitting on your couch with fun-sized candy bars. And, if you’ve been to a DementedFX haunt before, then you already know it’s well worth a second visit.