Threatening weather thrives thoroughly thwarting others by overthrowing homes throughout the withering environment without thrills or elevating the thermostat in the thousandth throwback theorizing unthinkable forces of nature themes.

Dark Abyss productions present Firenado, a disaster flick about a group of meteorologists tracking the titular natural disaster while attempting to warn locals in the path of destruction. Meanwhile, a group of mercenaries wants to rob an accountant to the mob named Pierce. Does this film bring the heat or is it a hot mess?

Directed by Rhys Frake-Waterfield and Scott Jeffrey, they include beautifully shot landscapes. The mountains are filmed to look majestic and the ocean is gorgeous. The tone is all over the place and the pacing is off. It takes 30 minutes for the firenado to appear. About 40 mins in it turns into a home invasion film…for some reason. Then there’s the super forced love story between Pierce and Anna. Why do these movies always shoehorn in these inconsequential, irrelevant subplots? Those segments especially feel like filler in a film where the runtime is already short. In a 78-minute movie, the pacing shouldn’t meander so much. For the budget, the CGI isn’t too bad. It’s on par with any made-for-TV original Sy/Fy film. Some of the later Sharknado installments look even worse than this.

Written by Tom Jolliffe, the dialogue is awkwardly written. Who talks like that? Most of the chatter is scientific jargon and how desperately they need to save the townspeople. There aren’t enough quieter moments of the group sitting and talking to get to know them. The characters are written as one-dimensional, bland, and without any redeeming qualities.

The entire cast isn’t very good as far as acting goes. Sian Altman is Anna, the main character. Nicola Wright is Helena, she’s a meteorologist. Toby Wynn-Davies is Devlin, the head scientist. Daniel Godfrey is Pierce, the mafia accountant. When they try to say things with urgency but there’s no emotion emanating from them. The action scenes are unintentionally funny. Even when trying to be more dramatic it turns out to be unintentionally funny. Perhaps some more rehearsals or capturing extra takes could have given improved performances.

I like the score by James Cox. It’s got a pulse-pounding rhythm from the percussion section accompanied by melodic horn and string sections. Its so grand in scale. Too bad it’s wasted on this film.

Overall, Firenado is a hot mess with a shallow, pedantic, and cumbersome plot that isn’t very entertaining. More time could have been used to focus on the titular disaster. For a movie with that title, the actual firenado is barely featured. It’s like Halloween Ends all over again except this wasn’t nearly as painful to watch. The paper-thin plot sets up interesting ideas but quickly shifts into a generic disaster flick with no substance or social commentary. It turns into a nonsensical story with little to nothing to say. Granted, not all films have to have a message but it does need to be fun and engaging.

Movies like Twister, Volcano, and The Day After Tomorrow are illogical but they’re exhilarating because of intense action sequences and likable, relatable characters. Firenado had none of that. The plot is so unfocused it feels like two different movies squished together. I wouldn’t recommend this because it made me want to watch those films instead. And remember, if your going to bring the heat you need to add fuel to the fire.

4 out of 10