Since it doesn’t seem like they are making any more MST3Ks, this film should only be encountered with friends, while drinking.  But if watched correctly, Space Wars: The Quest for Deepstar can be a goofy nostalgic trip for those of us who grew up on Roger Corman, Jim Wynorski, Fred Olen Ray, and the other purveyors of low-budget ludicrousness.  A low budget romp through derivative sci-fi fantasy, with performers chewing the scenery like the Cookie Monster, obvious and silly CG (and a little bit of competent CG), lines that are not so much spoken as clunkily falling out of the performer’s mouths to crash on the floor in front of them, characters arbitrarily changing motivations and actions — this is a feast of ridiculous sci-fi.

Set in the year 2980, the film’s plot is rather convoluted despite its simplicity.  Okay, here we go:  When you die, your soul can be extracted and can be used to make a blue liquid called “essence” which is then loaded into a cyborg or an android or whatever. Kip (the redoubtable Michael Paré) and his daughter Taylor (Sarah French), a father-daughter team of…well, salvagers? Smugglers? For-hire space people?…need to make five million credits so that Kip’s wife’s essence can be put in a replica cyborg body and will live again. Dykstra (Olivier Gruner), Wade (Tyler Gallant) and Nina (Rachele Brooke Smith), a team of…pirates? gangsters? Space villains?… are looking for Deepstar, a ship that crashed, well, somewhere, and is fabled to have a treasure onboard.

Meanwhile, Elnora (Sadie Katz), the ruler of…some kind of fleet? Space empire? Space P.T.A.?…is after Kip because he stole a coin that is also her dead sister.  You read that correctly. Don’t ask questions.  So Elnora is after Kip, and when Kip and Taylor rescue Jackie (Anahit Setian) from a space station being attacked by Dykstra & Co., they learn she knows how to find Deepstar, and Dykstra, Wade and Nina are thus now also after Kip.  The villains do villainous things. The heroes do goofy, heroic things, and everyone is threatened by CG alien monsters.

It’s the kind of sci fi where everybody dresses in skin-tight black leather and knows MMA, preferring hand-to-hand combat despite everyone having a laser gun – just take turns giving body shots and hooks. It’s the kind of sci-fi where people say things like, “Nothing can quench my thirst for vengeance. Where’s Kip?” with a straight face. A live-action Futurama, but more cartoonish. In short, if you don’t take it seriously, it’s a lot of fun; and it doesn’t want you to take it seriously.

If you prefer your sci-fi thoughtful and dignified, keep walking. Go watch Silent Running.  If you’re the kind of person who wonders why they don’t make films like Galaxy of Terror or Creepozoids anymore, please sit down, open that beer and get ready to enjoy Space Wars: The Quest for Deepstar.  You might often be incredulous (I think I said, “Are you serious?” aloud a few times); but you will never be bored.