Every holiday season my mom can’t help but be entranced by the Hallmark Channel and their holiday-themed movies. What makes a Hallmark holiday movie is there are all feel good, usually romantic or family-oriented, and are all virtually interchangeable. I imagine it is like visiting a friend for tea, they tell you about their life while you have the same sandwiches each time and it isn’t exciting but it’s comforting. I bring up the Hallmark channel and its copy paste holiday movie because A Wakefield Project feels like the holiday Hallmark team attempting their own horror movie. Where the men are hunky, the dialogue is as simple as can be, and the plot is insane yet somehow boring.

After the passing of his father, Eric decides to get a fresh start renovating a hotel in a small town with his friend Reese. Recently a solar flare has hit the small town and nothing has been right since. A loud ringing erupts without warning and the hotel it giving off dangerous sensations. After hiring a clairvoyant name Chloe, they begin to discover the terrible history of the hotel and the carnage that took place over a decade ago.

Like a buffet constructed by a group of people that all like different foods, the story is all over the place. From the start, the film seems like it is going to be a haunted house movie, where Eric is having dreams caused by something ominous. Next talk about the solar flare, that was briefly mentioned in the intro credits, creeps back in and becomes a bigger plot point. Then it turns out a man was killing people in the town but he can’t just be a slasher, so they developed him with a sad backstory. If you try and follow ever plot point that gets added, or all the directions the story goes the audience is likely to get whiplash before the hour mark.

With a story that is all over the place, one would think that it at least wouldn’t be boring but that is not the case. The music, the acting, the scenes, all feel tired, lacking in any vision and there is nothing to catch the audience’s attention. While some people will flock to this movie looking for a “so bad its good” experience, A Wakefield Project has none of the heart or passion that make movies like The Room possible.

From beginning to its weirdly wrapped up end, A Wakefield Project feels like a soulless cash grab at the horror genre, the kind you would see a corporate studio make. The utterly bizarre story has no semblance of logic while coming off as tedious. The special effects, when they happen, are tragically awful when they would have been easy to do practically. There is simply nothing I can recommend about this film unless you are the world’s most masochistic completionist or a fan of the abysmal SYFY originals.

2 out of 10