What if everything we thought about vampires was wrong? What if they not only walked among us, but weren’t supernatural beings at all, but human people just like us?

Sarah (Naomi McDougall Jones) is a real-life vampire. Struggling with an unknown disease that causes her to constantly lack energy, she drinks blood once a week in order to function normally. She lives with two other vampires, Chrissy (Naomi Grossman, American Horror Story) and Lily (Mahira Kakkar), as a “collective of independent vampires” called the Church of Twilight. When this seemingly outlandish organization is brought to the attention of the authorities, Sarah finds herself being audited by the IRS – specifically, dorky IRS agent James (Christian Coulson).

James moved to New York from England to get away from his clingy mom and the memory of the dad who left them, only to find himself living with his obnoxiously evangelical coworker, Faith (Annie Golden). As somewhat of a straight-laced skeptic, James is quick to scoff at Sarah’s claims of vampirism, especially after a clip of another vampire, Stacz (Antino Crowley-Kamenwati), being ridiculous on a reality show went viral. Stacz and his girlfriend, Regan (Mia Romero), are vampires like Sarah and her roommates, but much more flamboyant, working abundant Interview With The Vampire references into the way they present themselves. But James, bored with his job and unspectacular life, is intrigued by Sarah. After Sarah and Chrissy bring him along to Regan’s birthday party in an effort to prove they’re legit, James can’t deny his feelings for Sarah. And Sarah can’t deny her feelings for James. But, as IRS agent and client, they can’t make a romantic relationship work, can they?

Bite Me is so beautifully weird, with real heart in it. And, if travel docu-series Dark Tourist is to be believed, it’s also entirely plausible. Real people exist who drink blood for medical reasons, and they often find community with one another that they can’t get in “normal” society. Bite Me humanizes these people, showing them as coming from all walks of life, and living all kinds of lives. I especially loved Lily’s side plot about being a Muslim, a kindergarten teacher, and a vampire. The struggle for acceptance she faces is rarely portrayed in TV or movies, but people like her who have to try to juggle seemingly disparate aspects of their lives are more common than we might realize.

I was drawn in by Bite Me from the moment musician and “Gothic homemaker” Aurelio Voltaire appeared in a brief cameo as himself, but I came to love Sarah, James, and the whole quirky cast. I’m not typically one for rom-coms, finding them pretty cookie-cutter for the most part, but Bite Me breaks the mold. It’s not without problems, but most of them can be overlooked in the grander scheme of things. If you’re looking for something a little mushier than My Bloody Valentine or Picnic At Hanging Rock this Valentine’s Day, I highly recommend giving Bite Me (2019) a watch.

9.5 out of 10 Plastic Fangs