'HANKY PANKY' Is Weirdy Weirdy

I won’t mince my words here, folks. This is extreme oddness. If you’re looking for a straight-edged film with clear boundaries then you came to the wrong party. As a reviewer there’s certain unspoken protocols we’re bound to. But if I’m being honest, I cant even keep tabs on the cast list; who’s who, the whole orderly thing. It’s all very confusing. So, I’ll start at the beginning of Hanky Panky, co-directed by Lindsey Haun and Nick Roth.

We start with some poor distressed guy in a snowbound scene, frantically calling for help on his mobile as he’s just witnessed a murder in a remote cabin. Then things turn bad for him as he screams, and his mobile drops to the deep snow, spattered with blood. All noise ceases. Good start, huh?

Next we have Sam (Jacob DeMonte-Finn), dragging his luggage behind him towards a log cabin cloaked in snow. He seems uncertain; especially when there’s nobody there to meet or greet, but a sign on the door prompts him to go ahead and make himself at home. He’s clearly nervous, but in he goes. Then his pocket handkerchief starts talking to him in a gruff yet jovial voice, telling him it’s just his anxiety messing with him; it also seems more than vaguely lecherous. Well. I dunno about you, but any residual anxiety I may have wouldn’t be soothed by a talking pervy handkerchief called Woody (voiced by Toby Bryan) or am I crazy?

Things ease up slightly for our pal Sam when there’s noise at the door and an earthy chick comes in and stuffs some oregano into Sam’s mouth whilst she extolls the virtues of their location and starts babbling about the wild experience they’re going to have. Turns out, Sam and she aren’t the only ones set up for this event as more people are to arrive, who clearly aren’t expecting Sam. Before this though, a Dr Crane (Nick Roth) appears and insists on Sam keeping quiet as his wife Lillith (Azure Parsons) is sleeping. In the interim he shows Sam some of his decidedly odd artwork. Eventually things take a turn, of course, involving a hat voiced by Seth Green (I told you it was weird), and those left alive start blaming each other for all the dead people.

Hanky Panky is either genius or bonkers. You have to make the call, as that’s as far as I got before my own brains began feeling like they were being sucked out. This is one of the few films I’ve reviewed that’s left me lost for words. Except .. well, WEIRD. Inventive, I’ll give it that. But maybe get intoxicated before you watch it and I’ll make more sense.