Mardis Gras, St. Patty’s Day, Easter, all holidays have less than happy origins. What are the darkest, most disturbing backstories to the happiest holidays around the world? Read all about it here!

St. Patrick’s Day: Patrick was actually not born in Ireland, but rather into Roman Britain in the 4th century. At the age of 16, he was kidnapped by Irish raiders to be used as a slave in Gaelic Ireland. During this time he “found God” and made his way home to become a priest. It is said that he drove the snakes away from Ireland, but the country never actually had any snakes. In a nutshell, Patrick was woke.

Mardi Gras: this holiday dates back to approximately 133-31 B.C.E., linked with ancient Roman pagan celebrations of spring and fertility to honor the god of agriculture, Saturn (who, according to a crazy statue I saw at the Getty Museum, ate his children). Guess a celebration was in order since their dates were going backward, anything could happen!

Purim: a Jewish holiday that commemorates the saving of Jewish people from Haman, a vizier to King Ahasuerus, who more or less was an alcoholic. Not to mention a HUGE anti-semite. It follows the same traditions as nearly every Jewish holiday: they tried to kill us, we won, let’s eat.

Holi: a celebration originated in India where people gather and perform religious rituals in front of a bonfire, praying that evil to be destroyed the way Holika, the sister of the demon king Hiranyakashipu, was killed in a fire. Then everyone smears each other in colored powder, sing, and dance, and drink cannabis-infused drinks. I’m surprised this hasn’t caught on more in California, then again, bonfires are usually frowned upon here.

Passover: another Jewish holiday that’s a commemoration of liberation from slavery in ancient Egypt and their freedom as a nation under the leadership of an all-around good fellow named Moses. The fun history behind the name? While the Jewish people escaped, God helped out by inflicting ten plagues upon the ancient Egyptians, the final of which is the death of their first-born children. The Jewish homes were marked with the blood of a slaughtered lamb, and the spirit of death knew to “pass over” the firstborns in those homes. Metal AF, right?

What are some of YOUR favorite holidays with dark origins?