When properly executed, there’s nothing better than a good, old-fashioned spoof movie. In fact, some of the greatest comedies of all time were parodies of other genre films. I mean, c’mon, titles like Blazing Saddles, Space Balls, Shaun of the Dead – need I say more? The list of classics is already a mile long, and it only continues to expand with time. Now, you may be wondering why I’m prattling on about comedy movies. Although not a subject that you would typically expect to be covered in a publication that caters almost exclusively to horror fans, I promise you that there is a method to my madness. You see, I bring them up because the topic leads directly into the sticky, fetid bowels of the film that I’ll be reviewing today–Let Us In. So, with that in mind, please bear with me.  

After the success of Scary Movie in 2000, the flood gates were thrown open, resulting in a tidal wave of similar projects crashing onto the market. Some of them were pretty good – others, not so much. The worst offenders of the bunch were virtually unwatchable and made selections like Not Another Teen Movie look like Citizen freakin’ Kane by comparison. Falling squarely into this aforementioned category were films like The 41-Year-Old Virgin Who Knocked Up Sarah Marshall and Felt Superbad About It and 30 Nights of Paranormal Activity with the Devil Inside the Girl with the Dragon Tattoo – both of which were written and directed by a man named Craig Moss. Herein lays the connection to Let Us In, the movie that I, unfortunately, just had to watch and subsequently review for all of you fine folks out there today.  

In what I can only describe as an incredibly misguided attempt by Moss to break into directing legitimate films, Let Us In isn’t a comedy movie at all, but rather an odd, sci-fi horror hybrid. The concept for the story is loosely based on the paranormal phenomenon of the Black Eyed Kids and follows a young girl named Emily (Mackenzie Moss), who finds herself in the middle of an otherworldly plot to abduct human children. However, I’m not going to waste any more time discussing what actually happens in the film, as it is extremely convoluted and tries (very unsuccessfully) to move in several different directions at once. What I will say, and go into more depth on, is that Let Us In is an awful picture for a wide array of reasons.

For starters, the casting choices left a lot to be desired. The actors had next to no chemistry together, making the cringeworthy dialogue all the worse to have to sit through. Oh, and that dialogue – that horrible, unnatural dialogue! I’m almost certain that listening to it took at least five years off my overall life expectancy. When coupled with how totally unlikeable every character was, it gave Let Us In all the charm of a back-alley rectal examination. The film was so dreadful that even the talent of a seasoned actor like Tobin Bell couldn’t salvage it from being anything more than an obnoxious example of how not to make a horror movie. I could go on and on, but I will spare you any more of the gory details, except to say this: Hell’s bells, this one was a stinker! 

So, there you have it – my reaction to one of the worst pictures that I’ve ever friggin’ seen. Never in a million years did I think I’d watch something this year that I despised even more than Hoodman; a film that I would hate with such a burning passion that it would actually cloud my ability to think and form coherent thoughts. And yet, here we are. At the end of the day, I mostly find myself angry with an uncaring God who, for whatever reason, actually allowed this travesty of a film to happen. 

0.5 out of 10