I enjoy me some western horror–the tales of Joe R. Lansdale, Bone Tomahawk, Ravenous, and Grim Prairie Tales, for example, effectively blend genres offering six guns versus the supernatural. Then there is Night of the Tommyknockers.

The elements are all here–a dangerous gang, townspeople fearing for their lives, a cantankerous sheriff, horses, guns, trains, and monsters. But it just does not quite work, for reasons which are apparent. In a pre-credit teaser, miners unleash the eponymous Tommyknockers, who then kill many in the mine and then head out into the town of Deer Creek, Nevada.

The audience then meets the Dirk Gang, so called because their leader is Dirk (Richard Grieco), a killer and thief so dangerous and ornery that he speaks as little as possible. After the Dirk Gang robs a banks, killing a few of the folks in the bank just because, they ride ahead of the posse and the vengeful brother of one of their victims all the way to, you guessed it, Deer Creek, Nevada. The entire population is hiding inside the tavern and the brothel as for the past three nights the Tommyknockers have attacked.

Here is the first of many plot holes large enough to drive a truck through: since the Tommyknockers cannot come out during the day, why not leave the next morning after the first night? Or the second night? Why not leave during the twelve hours when they will not be attacking. In this odd siege, the Dirk Gang arrives and begins killing and defending the townsfolk in equal measure, while also being picked off and killed by the Tommyknockers and the aforementioned vengeful brother. The town is being protected by Marshall Steed (Tom Sizemore) and I cannot tell if it is the performer or the character who is tired and bored of all this. Numerous filmic sins occur along the way hampering enjoying the film or taking it seriously.

The film is called Night of the Tommyknockers and the siege seems to take place during a single night, except in many scenes sunlight is clearly coming through the windows. There seem to be only four Tommyknockers, who get shot in the head a lot and die, and then show up again. The Tommyknockers themselves seem to be some kind of albino zombie mummies. As a monster, they’re not that much of a threat–people die not because it makes sense but because the plot requires someone to die. Perhaps the biggest reason the film doesn’t work, however, is simply weak writing, as demonstrated by exchanges like this:

Woman: My horse is out front. Can you escort me to it?

Dirk: Sorry, ma’am–all the horses outside are dead, including the people.

Woman: (mildly disappointed) Oh, no! Buttercup!

She is clearly underwhelmed by the threat outside and the loss of her horse, and I spent a few minutes trying to figure out if Dirk thought people were horses or horses were people. By the end of the film, who lives and dies does not even matter. The people making the film try to create an epic horror western, but it collapses under the weight of its own silliness. If you need horses and monsters, avoid Night of the Tommyknockers and go watch Bone Tomahawk or The Burrowers again.

3 out of 10