This looks like a doodle in a 7th grader’s notebook after watching Yellow Submarine.

When a 14-year-old hits a late puberty and first finds Reddit while browsing through his parent’s old albums they don’t listen to anymore, he’s going to start doodling. This movie is that doodle. It wants to be a clever parable, or a virtuous message of revolution, but it’s a masturbatory messianic fantasy of the outsider who never fit in with the cool kids, so had to imagine that they were all deluded sheep.

To make it worse, the (white) creator’s self-insert is a black mutant with an enormous wang. So there’s that. Or am I being too politically correct to mention that? Am I exemplifying everything this movie rails against?

Röckët Stähr, aka Rocky (not Horror), is a four-armed glam rocker named after the director and writer of the film, self-styled “singer/songwriter/pianist/guitarist/bassist/​composer and creator.” Röckët Stähr, by the way, is not a band, but one dude bent on recreating Stranger in a Strange Land (the novel by Robert A Heinlein) with less nuance and more guitars. Rocky himself is the creation of the mad scientist Creigh A. Tor, cloned and modified to bring forth a new, revolutionary age of rock, to unseat the ruling powers, confusingly called “Czarists,” though they are equated with communism, democracy, fascism, eco-nuts, Nazis and political correctness. The beef seems to be that Nazis and Czarists (the right and the left, to Rocky, though real Czarists were not particularly leftist) have teamed up and now censor all the fun out of life. There’s a scene in a museum where the displays of forbidden materials include an incandescent bulb, trans fats, straws, and Joan Rivers. Haha. Hilarious. Buncha fun killers. There was a homophobic joke in the first number, haha, hoho.

Unable to Locate Depth

Okay, it’s an animated musical. An attempted rock opera, Metal as filtered through Paul Williams. And as anti-religious as it seems to be (“Wars still being waged in the name of Mohammed and Christ”), it’s a fairly close parallel to Godspell. It also has delusions of Pink Floyd’s The Wall, the Beatles’ Yellow Submarine, The Who’s Tommy, Bootsy Collins’s Freaknik: The Musical. But it’s about as deep and moving as Bugsy Malone.

All with the animation quality reminiscent of early Flash shorts, Llamas with Hats, perhaps.

The music is bland and confused, the animation is silly, and the theme and lyrics are politically and ideologically incoherent, redpill blubbering and idol worhsip of a bunch of rockers — only the men, though.

I wonder if those umlauts will mess with the SEO?

All right, I’ve talked enough about this. Time to watch a REAL rock opera. Like the Bee Gee’s Sergeant Pepper’s movie.