Where to even begin? The Final Conclusion of Baby Oopsie: Murder Dolls is a short film about dolls that murder and try to summon something from toy hell or something. Two people are locked and a basement while two for coming in for reasons. It all comes to head when everyone is in a throwdown in the living room. There are also ghosts, monsters, robots, and really bad acting.

This is formatted as a short but in all actuality, it’s a feature film split into four parts. As such, you’re dropped into the middle of whatever this is. I would say that you should watch the others before this one, but that would imply that I would want anyone to watch it. And honestly, I don’t think it would help much.

There have been plenty of killer toys/dolls type movies, with the likes of Child’s Play, Puppet Master and many others. There is a reason these are popular and in the right hands it can still be scary or funny or good. These, though, are not the right hands. Right from the jump, you’ve got a good idea for what you’re getting into.

The acting goes from so wooden that you’d think the actors owed people some money and this was them working it off to so over the top you end up thinking “well at least they’re having fun with it.” Sybil Pittman (Libbie Higgins) is one of the ones that you think is at least enjoying themselves amidst all the ridiculous one liners and sparkling guns. In fact, no one else is worth mentioning since I don’t even remember anyone else.

The Final Conclusion of Baby Oopsie: Murder Dolls somehow made 25 minutes stretch so much longer. You could tell everyone was trying their best or at least trying, but the end product doesn’t show that. It’s just a half an hour of WTF moments that don’t amount to anything good. Going in blind with buddies and experiencing it for the first time might be good for a laugh. But don’t blame me if those same friends don’t let you pick any more movies.

2 out of 10