Episode three of the 6-episode X-files event delivers “Mulder and Scully Meet The Were-Monster”. This was a welcome return to the tongue-in-cheek style that brought us such classics as, Arcadia, and Bad Blood. Were-Monster was written and directed by Darin Morgan, younger brother of fellow show writer Glen Morgan. The episode effortlessly tossed out laughs as well as easter-eggs to sharp-eyed viewers, laced with razor-sharp commentary.
SPOILERS AHEAD!
This story began deep in the forest. A couple stand staring at the full moon, huffing paint fumes from paper bags, musing about the meaning of life (Tyler Labine and Nicole Parker). “Do you ever think life is so amazing,” one a sks, “that maybe we shouldn’t waste it by getting high all the time?” They answer the question by burying their faces in the fume-filled paper bags again.
Suddenly they hear a struggle behind trees nearby. Peeling the branches apart they spy a lizard-like creature in a scuffle with an animal control technician, Pasha (Kumail Nanjiani). The monster sees them, roars and tears off into the woods, leaving the ranger behind. It’s only after they check on the ranger that they notice the other victim, dead, throat ripped open, staring blankly at the full moon above.
We come back from the commercial break to find Mulder in his office at the FBI. He is bored out of his mind. Everything that was unexplainable had been explained away as practical jokes, publicity stunts or ignorance. Our hero is having an existential crisis, wondering if the monster chasing is worth it anymore. Scully then brings him the next case. “We have a new case. It has a monster in it.”
Back at the crime scene, the X-duo are bouncing the facts back and forth. This time, however, Scully is the one open to the unknown and Mulder is attempting to dismiss or explain things away. Scully asks him to at least take the investigation seriously since three people were found dead at the scene. He acquiesces.
Later that evening in the same town, the creature apparently attacks a transgender prostitute (D.J. Pierce). “Yeah, I hit him right on his horn.” She says, holding up a purse with a hole through the center. “I told the cops that the monster slithered off that way but they think I’m on crack.”, the prostitute says, pointing to a nearby field.
Mulder asks, “Are you?”
“Yeah.” She responds flatly.
The two agents run off in the direction of where the monster fled and the come across Pasha, the animal control agent from the forest, strangely enough. He is looking for the same monster in the field. The three hear a noise and follow to find a fresh kill in the field before them. Mulder fumbles with his new-fangled iPhone and accidentally begins shooting photos, over and over.
As Scully examines the body in the field, Mulder and the Animal control specialist make their way back to the truck stop, looking for the monster. The creature again attacks, Scully runs to their aid and Mulder is lying face up, covered in blood. Not his blood though. Where did the blood come from? No time for that now! The monster has run into the porta-potty in the parking lot. Scully and Mulder pull the door to the latrene open and find Guy Mann, (Rhys Darby) a dapper man in a jacket and bow-tie.
Coming back from the commercial we now have Scully in the local coroners lab, examining the new body found in the field at the truck stop. Scully insists that the marks on the body she is studying were from a human, not the claws of some lizard creature. Mulder fumbles with his phone and shares the pictures and video he captured during their chase at the truck stop. Not only did Mulder have the camera on constant flash, he had the camera inverted, facing inward at himself. Serendipitously they notice that the blood that was on Mulder came from the attacker. But how?
Mulder is then reinvigorated in his monster chase noting that the Horned Lizard is known for its ability to squirt blood from its eyes as a means of defense. Scully suggests that the internet is not good for him and tells him to go back to his hotel.
Mulder goes back to his hotel to rest. He is awakened by a scream, “MONSTER!” At first the manager of the hotel denies having screamed anything. After Mulder discovered the manager’s secret passageways of tunnels used to spy on the guests in his rooms, the manager comes clean. The manager claims to have seen the sharply dressed, Guy Mann, that Mulder found in the port-a-potty at the truck stop, as a guest in another room, literally morphing into a creature. Investigating Mann’s destroyed, abandoned room, Mulder finds a bottle of pills with the name of a local psychiatrist on it. Mulder calls Scully and insists that they are in fact chasing a monster.
We come back from the commercial and Mulder is talking to the psychiatrist who prescribed the medication to the man. The psychiatrist explains that the man that Mulder is looking for came in for help, claiming that he turns into a lizard. The doctor who attempts to reason that it easier to explain the monsters out there than the ones within.
Meanwhile Scully is wandering the town and spots the suspect, Guy Mann, working in a cell phone store. She calls Mulder and then enters the store to question the suspect. Mulder tells her to wait and says he is on his way. When Scully enters the store to begin questioning the subject he goes on a rampage and bolts.
Mulder follows Guy Mann to a cemetery and strikes up a conversation. “Nothing makes sense.” the Mann says. “It seems like you have something on your mind” Mulder prods. “What like I need to confess something?” Mann asks. Suddenly Mann begins to attack Mulder and Mulder stops him. “I know what you are doing.” Mulder tells Mann. It is clear that Mann wants it all to end and is begging to be killed. “I’ll Kill you, but first you need to tell me what is happening.” Mulder agrees. “Okay, but,” Mann hands him a bottle of booze, “drink this. You’re gonna need it.”
It’s at this point that the episode goes into full flashback mode and doubles back on itself to re-tell everything we’ve seen up to this point from the monster’s point of view.
Going back to the beginning we see our peaceful lizard man, starring up at the night sky in the forest from the beginning of the episode. He suddenly hears a struggle his peace is interrupted by two humans struggling. It is Pasha, the animal control specialist and another man. Mann is caught in the fray and bitten by Pasha. The two huffers peel the trees back and Mann is startled. He bolts.
Mann wakes up, the next morning, but has become a human after being bitten by a one. Naked, he finds the collection of victims from the still unidentified filler in the forest and fashions a wardrobe from what they are wearing, stealing their clothes. After donning an outfit he does what he thinks other humans all do and gets a job and rents a room at the hotel. Mann gets depressed and gets a puppy noting that the sadness of being human was only avoided by being with other non-humans. Unfortunately, he comes home from work one day to find that the cleaning lady had let his puppy loose. He goes looking for it and ends up at the truck stop.
Here, at the truck stop is where he began morphing back into his lizard form. He explained that he had no idea why he kept changing back and forth between human and lizard, it just happened. There in the field he, again, ran into the same man man from the forest, attacking yet another person. Mulder lets Mann go, not totally convinced of anything he hears, yet fully believing that the man is innocent.
Mulder has heard it all and decides to get drunk in the cemetery. after a full bottle of booze, Scully calls him. She is at the Animal control shelter where Pasha works. She is looking to question him further on the night at the truck stop. Mulder urges her to wait but of course, she goes on anyway. It becomes clear that Pasha was the one killing people all along. The worker attacks her. Mulder shows up and Scully already has Pasha in handcuffs.
That night, Mulder returns to the forest and finds Mann. Once a peaceful lizard creature in the forest, Mann was bitten by a human and has turned into a were-monster. He is hoping to return to the forest, return to lizard form, and then go into hibernation. Still in human form, Mann explains that he is disgusted with mankind. Mulder apologizes for what Mann has been subjected to. The two shake hands and mid-handshake the lizard man changes and scampers off into the forest.
This was probably one of the zaniest, most farcical episodes of The X-Files ever and it was also one of the best ones, easily in the top 20. The story of a peaceful monster, turned human by the bite of an animal control specialist is just the type of absurdist commentary that we had grown to love during the show’s prime. The storyline folded in on itself multiple times, keeping us guessing all of the way through.
So far the X-Files team has proven that they still have the magic. The show is proves that there are still a lot more mysteries to explore, more myths to uncover.
