“A good hockey player plays where the puck is. A great hockey player plays where the puck is going to be.”

— Wayne Gretzky, hockey icon (1978–1999)

It seems fitting that I ended this haunt season where it began, high up in the hills of Universal City gleefully and wistfully singing like Julie Andrews about how alive they were with “The Sound of….screams, and chainsaws!!!!”  Oh what delight we can glean  from the simple things in life if we but pause and marvel (No not the Dr. Strange kind.)  It’s November 5th, the season is now more than officially over, in many cases the cruel hands of theme-park carpenters are already picking away at the beloved wooden caucuses of our favorite mazes this year.  So what the hell would I have to write about so late in the game?

Well, this year as it has a few times in the past Universal Studios Halloween Horror Nights gave the haunt community an extra inning, a final weekend to help fend off the blues, and another opportunity to enjoy the artificial vomit smell of the Exorcist maze, just one last time (“yuck” that smell was just too strong).  And as they were the first to open and the last to close, and were so gracious to invite us to revel in, what has to be the most epic lineup of film and television horror they have ever assembled in one haunt, how could we refuse?

I must be blunt, what I have to say isn’t just a love letter to Universal and their staff and creative teams, but it is more an open letter to the monsters, scare actors, ghouls, and general no-good-nicks who stalk black plywood hallways, and hide in the dark each year, and it’s not just a message about finishing strong.  It’s more about starting where you want to finish.

Now to be fair, my season starts with the media night where Universal Marketing usually pulls together a great variety of haunt, horror, and just scare friendly celebrities to walk the red carpet and get word out about the event (Slash, even though you ran past us on the other side of the posters, you still rock!!!)  This year when it concluded we were released out into the park to experience the wonder, and this year the wonder was not only sold out for opening night, but it seemed like someone had copied the party fliers and passed them out to every fraternity and sorority in LA County, and there just wasn’t enough 7-layer bean dip to go around.  You get the idea, our little chess club social gathering that managed somehow to get the super cool Soska Twins and their personal Exorcist to drop by for a few glorious minutes, suddenly became the “Party Out of Bounds” cops called.

So media with cameras and lighting, and trying to get shots for articles with deadlines, and all of the business of the business really clashed pretty hard with people who rightfully had paid good money to just go to the haunt, and weren’t particularly happy when the lines were bypassed, and then lines were also held from entering so that what needed to happen celebrity and media wise could happen.  I waited in line (albeit the Front-of-the-Line, Line) rather than bypass them, because part of the joy for me is actually experiencing the event with people (fellow haunt fans) who always show up dying to discover what Murdy and Williams hath wrought upon the Backlot before anyone (including HorrorBuzz) could spoil even the tiniest part of it for them.  And people were still enjoying everything!  I need to make that clear. The mazes were amazing and Chock-full-‘O hidden and beautiful details that we have come to expect from the Universal creative team, and we left having experienced everything despite the crowds and occasional chaos.

I should also state that most years I have purchased a frequent fear pass to be able to experience the event over and over, but I didn’t this year, and after seeing the opening night felt like I was OK with that decision.  But I was very very wrong, and to be honest, I feel like we got the best of Halloween Horror Nights last night as the curtain went down. This is more than just the  tweaks that were made after that opening weekend like:

• Line directions reversed to eliminate some of the bottlenecks
• More added to the Purge mini-maze scarezone (nice to have the dub-step back)
• Less vomit smell in the Exorcist

Nor was it the still enthusiastic and professional demeanor of the park staff, who almost unanimously expressed joy that the season was coming to a close, yet still were as friendly as they were opening night.  BTW a few of them were happy to let us know that.

Yes Harry Potter was open last night as a test by management to see if it should be open next year during the event.  Those of us who got to experience it as a part of HHN LOVED IT!!!!! The Ride wait times were manageable,  It was fricking amazeballs to sip a delicious Butterbeer in the middle of the night, and I hear they may bring some of the darker elements (Dementors around Hogsmede anyone?!?!) if management and J.K. Rowling decide it’s a good idea.  So if you want to see this happen in HHN 2017, let Universal Studios management know now!!!!

And this is where the sports analogies pay off…IT was about the talent inside the HHN mazes finishing strong, really strong, and I don’t think it had anything to do with the payloads of celebration pizza we saw being delivered to each of the locations (which I really hope and assume was a gift from the Universal managers for a job well done.)  And it wasn’t just because the maze elements had been modified  (Effects did work better, some things were brighter, some darker it does make an impact.)  No, it was because after weeks of being in those amazing and elaborate environments that John and Chris labored to design, the talent inside them was off the chains of those designs.

What do I mean?  Well, one of the most perfect and vivid examples of this is a small room in the middle of Freddy vs. Jason.  In the short room between two (germ) curtains are two hanging portraits directly across from each other.   When I experienced the maze (one of my favorites) (twice) at the beginning of the season the scare attempts played out pretty much as you might expect they would,  First Freddy and then Jason would throw the paintings open and pop out slightly above the conga line cattle action of the maze goers and try to get either blade fingers or machete blade dangerously close to the unfortunate passers by.

That’s not what happened last night at all.   Freddy on the final night of scares was letting Jason do his thing with the pop out, but he was literally just hanging out of his picture, letting people wander into the room while fiendishly clicking his blades together, pushing everyone who entered around him and right into the close waiting jump scare attack of Jason.  The effect was vastly more terrifying (particularly for the young group of female teens who were holding on to each other for dear life as they ran through) and not at all the way the space was initially designed to be used, but it wasn’t about the script anymore, it was about what the actors had discovered worked, fit in character, and ultimately “plussed” the living daylights out of the maze.

Another prime example of this happened later in the same maze where the boiler room scrims are back-lit one on each side, and both Freddy and Jason have a tiny hole in the wall at the end to get a (near) final swipe at the crowd.  Beginning of the season the actors waited until the effect was triggered….rushed to the front end of the room to chase the crowd down towards their “glory” hole of doom and take a swing.  Last night (twice)  Jason kept lunging at the cloth wall, lit or not, not hard enough to tear or destroy it, but enough to keep his menacing presence foremost in the room, while a casual laid back Freddy waited patiently until they neared the very end of the corridor to violently lunge and take down the largely distracted prey.

The most improved maze was definitely American Horror Story.  While this was one of my favorites in design because of the immersive nature of the three story settings it seemed sparse in September, in the end the characters inside were seemingly everywhere, and not confined to their corners anymore.   Twisty was delightful and willing to follow us down the path towards the big top, rather than quickly jump back into his hiding place behind the trees.  The doctor in Murder House was away from his patient more than thrusting his bloody surgery as close as possible into our faces.  Lady Gaga in the final room, was almost floating around her vampire child in the crib, using sudden changes of direction to “own” the wide open difficult scare space.

Even my favorite maze offering from HHN Krampus was so much improved by the overall looseness and comfort of the talent in the maze.   To whoever was playing the kitchen elf (And btw Mr. Murdy…that Gingerbread smell has earned you a special best smelling maze of the year award in my book) last night was phenomenal.   I was wandering through enjoying the tiny evil gingerbread men, when that scare-actor took a huge huge leap (knife in hand) directly into my path.  I laughed and clapped because it was a delightful bold scare attempt and not missing a beat the elf took a grandiose bow then immediately lunged at the group behind me sending them running off further into the maze.

So maze inhabitants, I fully realize that it takes awhile to acclimate to the space of haunt, to the limits, and to push them, but I implore you to loosen the restraints on your performance early.  To visualize the space you will be in at the end of the run and make it your goal for the beginning.  To avoid the obvious and embrace the monster within.  The way Universal HHN delivered last night.  It was the best of the best overall last night performance wise and will definitely go down as one of my favorite trips ever.