A group of friends traveling lonely back roads. A lost (stolen?) cellphone.  A deserted town. And a bunch of murderous clowns.

What’s not to like?

Don’t make me answer that.

After a rather obvious, but still promising intro that totally pays homage to/rips off Halloween’s opening scene (even down to a young kid in a clown outfit killing his babysitter inside a house with the last name “Strode” on the mailbox), we cut to 15 years later, when generic friends Brad, Sarah, Mike, and Jill are driving what seems like a very long time to get to “the concert” (I like how nobody ever mentions which concert).  They stop off at a diner for directions, and are mildly harassed by Big Burly Redneck #1 before the local sheriff saves them and sends them off in the right direction.

After driving for an even  longer time, Jill realizes that she left her cellphone back at the diner–but if they turn around and go back, they’ll miss THE CONCERT! Oh no! Sarah has the bright idea to call Jill’s phone, and the guy who answers tells them to go to a nearby town and he’ll meet them there and hand over the phone.

When they get to town, they find it empty. Devoid of anybody. No sounds, no pets, no open stores, nothing.

Well–not everybody has gone. There’s a large clown holding a machete, watching them.  Mike tries to get his attention, but he slinks away into the shadows before he can get help.  When they get back to the Jeep, they car won’t start. The spark plug wires have been hacked apart. And now they are stuck in ClownTown with, not one, not two, but five violent and horrible clowns.

Based on a true news story of people dressed up as clowns creeping out residents of Bakersfield, California, ClownTown has an interesting premise and, with the fear of clowns afflicting so many people, this movie seems like a slam dunk of horror.  Unfortunately, this thing is so by-the-book, so predictable you can see all the kills and twists from miles away.

Director Tom Nagel certainly knows how to make his audience jump. There are many instances of people popping up accompanied by a big music sting, and if that’s your thing, go for it. You’ll be pretty happy. But it gets tiresome quickly. I want more, even from an ultra-low budget horror flick that stars four people from the same family (hello, Nagels!).

The clowns, though, are very creepy and very menacing (even if their discovered reason for hanging out in the town is silly).  David Greathouse, Ryan Pilz, and Chris Hahn are very effective in their mostly silent white-faced roles, and they are truly the scariest thing on the screen. Each of them has a unique personality, and each of them are completely badass.

Sometimes gratuitous and realistic gore effects can redeem an uninspiring movie, but the effects here are nothing special (with the exception of a nasty crowbar-through-the-cheek gag that raised my hopes a bit).

Is it worth it? Meh. I think this might be a good flick to watch if there’s nothing else available, but not really something you clear your schedule for. Check out trailer below!