A complete failure of filmmaking every step of the way with no redeeming qualities to be found is what you’re in for with Camp Twilight so don’t say I didn’t warn you! I’d call it laughable, except that suggests some amusement was had when actually I just longed for this to end and was deeply relieved when it finally wrapped.

I’ve previously compared a few feature film duds to the experience of watching a film student’s final exam and I’ll have you know Camp Twilight doesn’t manage to meet that extremely low bar. Between the dreadful direction, high school student quality performances, and horrid script I’d say I’m not sure any of those involved in the production has seen a movie before despite several of them having been in the film business (in a D-level kind of way) for a while. Sure, it’s clearly a low-budget/no budget situation but a lack of funds has nothing to do with writing dialogue or characters this insipid–I mean, what’s on display here doesn’t even measure up to some fan films I’ve seen.

Camp Twilight starts off poorly with an awkward exposition dump in the form of a random Breaking News! bulletin about murders from 30 years ago before immediately getting worse. How so? Well, picture a Saturday Night Live quality sketch as that’s the level of skill on display but at least SNL is supposed to be so stupid you laugh at the idiocy and ridiculous performances. Also, it’s always a great sign when a random lady gets her boobs out before the movie even hits the three minute mark.

After the ill-conceived opening Camp Twilight moves on to the main “story” where it turns out the entire cast is one of the worst collections of performances I’ve seen in a while–everyone’s pretty painful to watch. All the technical aspects of filmmaking (editing, lighting, music, etc) also seem like they were handled by a producer’s friend who has never actually done any of those things before and didn’t even try to google “cinematography” or “how to edit?” before giving it a quick five minutes of their time. There are other ways to transition between scenes than fading to black over and over and over, FYI.

Oh yeah, the plot of Camp Twilight concerns a bunch of academically challenged teens going on a camping retreat with a few teachers/school staff to make up some credit (by hanging out doing nothing in particular…) when they’re slowly picked off by a masked figure. There’s also a couple bumbling campground security guards that are supposed to be funny, I guess, but their foolish antics of not being able to put gloves on or cluelessly stumbling around doesn’t exactly inspire guffaws. 

The students are a bunch of jocks and bimbos, the teachers are just as moronic with a couple of them feeling like they were borrowed from the set of some soft-core porn flick, and really I couldn’t tell you one thing I thought was worthwhile about any of Camp Twilight. I don’t require every low-budget slasher to reinvent the wheel, but if the filmmakers can’t even be bothered to put in more effort than the absolute bare minimum I’m certainly not going to bend over backwards with benefit of the doubt.

So, Camp Twilight is a hard pass. If seeing some mildly famous faces from previous horror films throughout the years is enough for you then have at it, but recognizing people from other things isn’t at all enough for me. Maybe this could be a fun Rifftrax experience if you have a friend or two with you, but I think even then boredom would quickly set in.

1 out of 10 Three Minute Boobs