Three sexy teenagers take a fun-filled trip out to the Amazon for an exciting getaway filled with seductive pleasures and forbidden desires. Failing to hear the warnings about evils that lurk in the Jungle, they will have to fight for survival against trigger-happy bounty hunters, blood-thirsty Cannibals, and massive flesh-eating monsters.

I have no idea what exactly I just watched, but I watched it and now that is a thing. Human Cattle is a mind mushing, decadently gory, cerebral, disturbing, and shocking assault to the senses, all stuffed into a 9.5-minute jack-in-the-box that pops out at you as the film winds up to its end. Directed, produced and written by Carlos Henriques and Phil Pattison, this short film has picked up numerous awards on the festival circuit for its originality and dedication to all things horror.

Beginning like a tourism video for the Amazon rainforest, upbeat island music plays over the opening, comprised of picturesque shots of the jungle, happy Amazonians, as well as shots of three sexy young adults partying while driving through the Amazon. Along the way, they receive warnings from quirky and creepy characters, such as an elderly and anxious riverboat driver, who leaves them for fear of impending doom, and even from the Amazon police department? Yea…

Alas, the tempting trio trudges on, determined to party or die trying. Deciding not to heed the advice of Amazon PD and the elderly man, they find their rainforest foray of sexy-time and drinking interrupted by a bevy of crazy locals: long-tongued monsters, cannibalistic natives, and a beefcake/little-person team of gun-crazy hunters. Internationational traveling is not all that it is cracked up to be, and just when you thought it was safe to go back into the Amazon, too!

For what it is, this is an interesting little movie – a YouTube-quality parody of horror films that is part destination thriller, part creature feature, Human Cattle makes fun of itself with purposely silly overacting, effects, and narrative, but still captures a similarly nightmarish feel like other WTF horror films of late, such as Mandy or the new Suspiria. However, those are feature length, and Human Cattle successfully compresses all of this into a less than 10-minute nightmare. This film had surprisingly vibrant pyrotechnics and great monsters which were made possible by The Butcher Shop FX Studio, who did the disgusting and frightening creature and make-up effects for the film. It is no wonder this little feature racked up awards such as “Best Special FX” at both the 2017 Shock Stock Film Festival and 2018 Horror-rama Film Festival, as well as the “Most Electrifying Movie” at the 2017 Hamilton Film Festival (and more!).

I found myself saying why god, why a lot while watching – I played chicken with this short film and this 9 and ½ minute descent into madness won out; I just had to look away. With all its WTF moments and its truly revolting creatures, I felt it had the twisted sense of humor of John Waters (if he did horror) and the aesthetic of Steven Dodd (creator of Tales from the Crypt television series). If that sounds like an interesting tale to you, gather ‘round Carlos Henriques and Phil Pattison’s fire and watch their 2019 tourist nightmare, Human Cattle, streaming on YouTube.